Cracking Up the Cook

I hit a few cooking web sites every so often to troll for ideas.  Whenever someone posts a recipe on a well-known cooking site, two kinds of commentators inevitably show up:

1. The Kiss-Ass: "I made this recipe just now and it was soooooooo good.  Just completely delicious!  The best thing I ever made!  Wow!  You've changed my life!"  What's amusing is that the comment shows up five minutes after the recipe does.  In other words, there's no way for the commentator to have made the recipe.  Bizarre!  Are these people hoping for attention from the original chef?  I don't get it.

2.  The Substituter: "I tried the recipe for Holiday Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream Cheese, but I used sweet potatoes instead of pumpkin and half-and-half instead of condensed milk and white pepper instead of nutmeg and cottage cheese instead of cream cheese.  I have to say that it didn't taste very good.  Your recipe is terrible!"  This isn't really an exaggeration.  I read one comment by someone who changed every major ingredient for a roasted chicken recipe--including the chicken!--and complained that the recipe was faulty!  Listen up, people!  You can substitute ingredients if you want, but IT WON'T TASTE THE SAME.  And unless you really know what you're doing, your substitutions will probably suck.

Some people shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen.  Or on teh interwebs.