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Tropes! We Got Tropes!
Aug. 25th, 2019 01:46 pmI'm reading a fair amount of fiction with gay main characters these days, and I'm ready to smack the authors and publishers upside the head. Why? Stupid tropes.
A big part of much of this fiction (especially YA fiction) is the Coming Out Moment. I'm not opposed to having a Coming Out Moment. But I'm opposed to the stupid tropes about it. Specifically:
TROPE #1: The LGBT person comes out to a friend or family member and expects a bad reaction. The friend/family member explodes in anger. "How could you? Why would you do this to me? How dare you?" and the reader is supposed to think, "Oh geez--the poor main character. Now we'll see if s/he has the strength to deal with this." But then, in an amazing plot twist, the friend/family member says, "I'm angry because you didn't tell me sooner! Didn't you trust me?" And it turns out the friend/family member is actually supportive after all.
I despise this trope. First, it isn't in the slightest bit realistic. Second, it's been used over and over and over and over and over. And over. It's like watching a movie with a time bomb in it. There's no suspense whatsoever because we know the bomb will be defused. There's no shock or suspense in this trope because we know what the friend/family member will end up saying. Third, it's damaging. NO ONE has the right to decide when someone else comes out. NO ONE is allowed to decide for someone else that another person is trustworthy with this kind of information. How dare =you= be angry when I've lived my entire life trying second- and third-guess everyone around me about this issue? Fuck you. It's bad writing, it's boring, and it's damaging. It's not suspenseful or amusing or cute.
TROPE #2: The LGBT person comes out to a parent, who immediately shouts for joy. "Oh, I'm so happy for you!" the parent gushes. "Yay! You're gay! You know, Myra has a son who's gay. Maybe you two could date! I want to throw a coming out party for you. Let's pick out some outfits." This one is meant to be a reversal on the more expected response of disappointment, fear, or even hatred. The problem is, like the one above, it's been done and done and done and done. It also makes the parent (usually a mom) look like a complete ditz. Finally, the parent is dismissing the entire event by making light of it. The teen has just done something very person and very powerful, and the parents reacts like a five-year-old being told they're going to Disneyland, which diminishes and infantilizes the news. The author again means to be different and cool, but it's cliche and stupid, and it makes me throw the book across the room.
We have the obligatory plug. If you want to see a much better handling of the coming out, read THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING KEVIN.
A big part of much of this fiction (especially YA fiction) is the Coming Out Moment. I'm not opposed to having a Coming Out Moment. But I'm opposed to the stupid tropes about it. Specifically:
TROPE #1: The LGBT person comes out to a friend or family member and expects a bad reaction. The friend/family member explodes in anger. "How could you? Why would you do this to me? How dare you?" and the reader is supposed to think, "Oh geez--the poor main character. Now we'll see if s/he has the strength to deal with this." But then, in an amazing plot twist, the friend/family member says, "I'm angry because you didn't tell me sooner! Didn't you trust me?" And it turns out the friend/family member is actually supportive after all.
I despise this trope. First, it isn't in the slightest bit realistic. Second, it's been used over and over and over and over and over. And over. It's like watching a movie with a time bomb in it. There's no suspense whatsoever because we know the bomb will be defused. There's no shock or suspense in this trope because we know what the friend/family member will end up saying. Third, it's damaging. NO ONE has the right to decide when someone else comes out. NO ONE is allowed to decide for someone else that another person is trustworthy with this kind of information. How dare =you= be angry when I've lived my entire life trying second- and third-guess everyone around me about this issue? Fuck you. It's bad writing, it's boring, and it's damaging. It's not suspenseful or amusing or cute.
TROPE #2: The LGBT person comes out to a parent, who immediately shouts for joy. "Oh, I'm so happy for you!" the parent gushes. "Yay! You're gay! You know, Myra has a son who's gay. Maybe you two could date! I want to throw a coming out party for you. Let's pick out some outfits." This one is meant to be a reversal on the more expected response of disappointment, fear, or even hatred. The problem is, like the one above, it's been done and done and done and done. It also makes the parent (usually a mom) look like a complete ditz. Finally, the parent is dismissing the entire event by making light of it. The teen has just done something very person and very powerful, and the parents reacts like a five-year-old being told they're going to Disneyland, which diminishes and infantilizes the news. The author again means to be different and cool, but it's cliche and stupid, and it makes me throw the book across the room.
We have the obligatory plug. If you want to see a much better handling of the coming out, read THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING KEVIN.
