Steven Harper Piziks

I saw Star Trek: Section 31 and ... meh.

I always like Michelle Yeoh. But really, she was the only thing to like. The show went way astray from Star Trek's setting and tone. Section 31 was more like Star Wars--gritty ships, desert worlds, everyone dirty. Even a trash compactor! And it didn't fit the Section 31 mythos. Section31 has always been presented as the Mission Impossible of Star Trek. The agents are highly-trained and focused. They go deep undercover. They manipulate and play tricks. They vanish into thin air when the mission ends. But this version of Section 31 was more like Pirates of the Caribbean. They were a bunch of weird misfits--a grinning Vulcan with a parasite, a guy with mental issues in a mech suit, a stick-in-the-mud officer, a shapeshifter who can't make decisions. None of them were subtle (especially the Vulcan). None of them would make a good spy, and there was no justification given for these unfocused, bizarre people to be recruited as super spies. The show emphasizes action and beating people up and starship battles. And we also have the overdone Macguffin, in this case a universe-destroying widget that predictably gets kicked around the room, always just out of reach of the character who's trying to get it. It wouldn't be difficult to file the Trek serial numbers off it and turn it into a generic SF movie.

So ... meh. Moving on.
 

CBS released an actual trailer (instead of a stupid teaser trailer) for Star Trek: Discovery. And the Internet is losing its shit: 




As of this writing, the trailer has over four million views on YouTube and zillions of negative comments.  Why, you ask?  Well . . .

1. It only shows one white man in the trailer.  Instead, the show revolves around two minority women.
2. The Klingons are different.
3. The uniforms and Star Fleet insignia are different.
4. Although the show is set ten years before the original series, the technology seems to be more advanced than in the original series.  It's different!
5. We have to pay CBS's streaming service to watch it.

So what's happening here?

Well, for #1, the Internet is full of white snowflakes who, even after centuries of stories about straight white males, can't handle it when a story isn't all about them.  Sorry, boys.  The world is moving on.  You can either move with it and enjoy it with the rest of us, or watch BIRTH OF A NATION again with your hands down your pants.  The choice is yours.

As for 2-4, people forget that Star Trek ISN'T REAL.  Wake up, peeps!  It's all fake.  Hand-waving.  A story.  We can have anything we want, whenever we want it.  Besides, times change, and our stories change with them.  No one talked to a computer in the original show because no one back then even thought the idea was possible.  We do that NOW, and our stories reflect that.  The Klingons changed radically from series to series.  They're changing again.  So what?  It's fun to see how a new team of people (with a bigger budget and updated effects) envision Klingons.  It's nice to see them look more alien, too boot.  Pull the tri-corder out of your ass, and enjoy the show on its own terms, dudes.

And as for #5 . . . know what?  I'm ready for this!  Let me choose the channels I want and pay a lower fee to get them. It's way cheaper than a cable service that forces me to pay top dollar for channels I'll never see!  And I'll bet the streaming customer service is better.

Know what else?  All the complainers will bitch and moan and wail . . . and they'll watch the show.  Every episode.  Four, five, and six times.  Then they'll buy the DVD, and the Blu-Ray, and the digital when they come out.  Then they'll log back into CBS and watch the episodes there again.

So just shut up and hand CBS the money, little snowflakes.  You know it's going to happen.